Marr     iage

It’s been every night.

In my sleep I inch across the bed

finding only cold sheets

that do not care if I warm them.

This bed yawns like a grave

with pillows.

The crown on my front tooth

came loose and fell out.
Underneath is a dead black stump,

split in two where the nerve was removed.

This has to be a metaphor

for something.

I can’t imagine what.

I can hardly write.

It has taken life-changing circumstances

to even scratch this out,

my first real poem in over two months.

But I would rather never write anything again

but my own name

maybe a shopping list

for the rest of my life

for the chance

to go back and do a few things

differently.

And then my bicycle
didn’t get a puncture

on the way to work this morning
which I almost celebrated.

How far I must have fallen.

But I console myself with the knowledge
that when your only joy comes
from bad things not happening

you know

                                                         up.

                                 is

                              way

              only

Interesting times

this year

I have lost

my marriage

my home

25 lbs

my job

my father

and my ability to shake off

the common

cold.

there is a flipside –

always.

I have found

loneliness comes

from the removal of the choice

to be alone

but I've also found

a stunning and surprising new love

a flat surrounded by trees and symphonies of birdsong

I look pretty good without a shirt

and

that it's easy to confuse contentment

with happiness.

Outside the sky is

gun metal grey and threatening

but I stare back

bruised but

unflinching.

I will argue to my grave that I’m a
reasonable man and here’s why:

I got up at that time of day

where everything is loud

so I carefully chipped a brick

from my collapsing back garden wall

and wrapped it tightly
with the printed note I’d prepared earlier

which read

“Please do not wake me again in the night”

placed it on the bonnet

of my neighbour’s sloppily pimped
Vauxhall Astra

and set off for work whistling

Silence is golden

Come on, let’s save the planet!

I don’t think you poor people are really trying.

You could do more.

Haven’t you invested in solar panels?

You should keep chickens.

Surely you have time to make your own cheese, yoghurt, and bread.

Especially if you don’t have a job.

You could even get your children to help you.

It would do you good to have activities the whole family could participate in.

Try not to overfill your kettle.

Organic food is much tastier, so it’s worth those few extra pennies!

Plan where you could put your compost bin.

And a pen for a lovely goat.

Surely you could do without your week’s holiday somewhere warm.

Especially if you don’t have a job.

Both our cars runs on ecologically sound fuel.

You don’t have to stop spending, as long as you buy lots of eco-friendly things.

We can all save the planet together.

Just promise us

if all the good things we’re doing

and all the lovely green products we’re buying maniacally

somehow don’t work

and the climate changes apocalyptically

and we’re all trying to survive

you won’t eat us.